First up is Tigers-Royals, then Yankees and pitching, then some, well, rather fascinating stories of people who just didn’t want to go away to jail.

Tigers v. Royals
I was very scared for awhile tonight. I was watching the end of the Royals v. Tigers game. I know. What was I doing watching another Royals game? Well, when I saw the score online at 5-3, Royals up, in the bottom of the 7th – I had to intervene. So I turned the game on. It was two outs, bases empty, Craig Monroe – the most unclutch player in history, possibly – to the plate. The Royal’s current pitcher, Ambiorix Burgos, had struck out the last three Tigers. It didn’t look good. But then, Craig Monroe walked. Elmer Dessens came to the mound. Omar Infante singled on a looper to center, Monroe advanced to 2nd. Inge hit another looper to center, Monroe scores, Infante to 3rd. Royals still up, 5-4. And then, it happened. We needed some more runs to take the lead. And the Royals, being the Royals, gave them to us. Curtis Granderson hit a soft liner to center, and it looked like Aaron Guiel would catch it. But he didn’t, he kicked it. It’s the kind of thing that, having followed the Royals this year, you expected to happen. You knew that something just like that had to happen. After all, had the worst team in baseball beaten the best team in baseball, the planets could collide at any moment. So now the Tigers are up 6-5 – we’re safe. But, the Royals wanted to make sure that we had this game. So, Placido Palanco singled up the middle, bringing home Granderson. Tigers up, 7-5. Bottom of the 8th, no runs for the Royals. Top of the 9th, Craig Monroe hits a 2-out, 3-2 pitch over the 3rd baseman’s head to knock home Guillen, 8-5. The Tigers had 4 hits and no runs going into the 6th. In the 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th, the Tigers had 13 hits and 8 runs. The Royals went from, "up 4-0," to "losing 8-5." One fan was so "disenchanted" that he brought out the grocery bag and wore that on his head. That works. You can sell your Royal’s loyalty on eBay, or you can wear a grocery bag to the park. Whatever lets you sleep at night.

Other highlights of the game – PFC Mark Grudzielanek was a one-man artillery squad earlier in the game, when he hit two home runs. Needless to say, if you could win a battle with one man, war would be a lot cheaper. And the Royals would be able to win a baseball game. As it is, we have the opposing team’s announcers having the following conversation:

"They’re one out away from losing their 11th straight. It would be their second 11-game losing streak of the season."
"And we’re not even to June!"
"Two of them already!"

Well, there aren’t too many different ways to go 10-33. And that’s what’s most surprising. They might have two 11-game losing streaks, but they’ve lost 11 more games on top of that, while only winning 10. In other words, take out two 11-game losing streaks, and the Royals are still 10-11, a winning percentage of .476 – which still puts them in 2nd to last place in the AL Central. And that’s inches above what would be the new last place team, the Twins, with a .444 winning percentage. Unbelievable. Find me another team who, if you took away 22 losses, would still be a game or two above last place in their division. Heck, only eight other teams in the AL even have 22 losses, and surprise, four of them are in the AL West. That’s the entire division, by the way.

"If you’ll be 29th, I’ll be 30th…"
On that note, another bad team won today. Or is it, another bad team lost today. Heck, both are true. The Marlins beat the Cubs, again. I have nothing.

Yankees; pitching moves
And the Yankees won today. Have to hand it to the BPS, who did predict a thorough beating of Wakefield tonight. I only got a chance to catch the last couple innings after I got home from work, but from what I gather, it looks solid. Wright went 5, giving up just 4 hits and no runs. Proctor, who was the "get rid of him, wait, he’s looking better, keep him," guy, gave up 4 runs in 1.1 IP. Again, don’t know how those runs scored, but they did. A-Rod homered. Good for him. Can someone tell me how many home runs A-Rod has against the Red Sox since he came to the Yankees? Less than 10? Meanwhile, in San Fran, the game isn’t even over and Albert Pujols has already hit another home run. A-Rod, 11. Pujols, 23. Just a second, we’re going to put Albert on hold for a minute. Sheffield was back as well, and that’s obviously huge. But, like I said last night, the big thing is the starting pitching. That’s who I believe Cashman will make a deal for, if he makes a deal this year. Geoff asked me if I had any ideas for said trade, and I haven’t had the time to look into it, but off the top of my head, I’m thinking it’s going to be someone Shawn Chacon like. Not a big name, but a known name. I’ll be back with more tomorrow.

Albert
Back to Pujols. Can I just say something? Why are people still pitching to this guy? I mean, I would be devastated if they started walking him, (I thought the Nats figured it out…) but still – it doesn’t make sense. On Saturday, the Royals pitched to Pujols with two men on, and he hit a home run. Same inning, man on 2nd base, and they intentionally walk the 40-year-old Juan Encarnacion to set up the force. Hmm. Anyone know why this team isn’t winning games?

What’s with people violently resisting arrest?
Every once in a great while, something so extraordinary happens that, despite the fact that it has really nothing to do with baseball, I just have to talk about it. Today is such a day. David McCann was found outside a bar at 2am on Saturday morning, with his shirt unbuttoned, and yelling at passers-by that he was "Luke Skywalker." First off, you already know this is going to end badly. Because, quite frankly, people like that don’t just calmly walk away when you tell them to cut it out. And David was no exception. At first, one officer asked David to leave, after he (allegedly) got into a verbal confrontation with two women. Instead of leaving, David charged the officer, who then sprayed him in the face with "an irritant." Two officers then tried to handcuff David, but were unsuccessful, as he continued to wildly flail his arms in all directions. "He continued to attack with superhuman strength and made no attempt to escape," according to the official police report. So, the cops repeatedly kicked and struck David with a baton, but to no avail. He kept wildly resisting arrest. Finally, backup arrived with the Taser. After being Tasered three times and struck with a baton an additional four times, McCann was finally able to be handcuffed and hauled away. Needless to say, the school at which David is a physical education teacher decided not to renew his contract.

This reminds me of an age-old classic tale, one involving Former NFLer Barret Robbins. One night, Barret had a furious struggle with three cops in a ladies bathroom while they were investigating a burglary call. According to the police, Robbins beat the first cop to the floor, picked up the next one, slammed him into a wall and then flung him into another wall, then grabbed the third cop by the face and slammed him into a corner. He then grabbed that cop by the forearms, but was shot twice in the torso. At that point, he dropped to his knees, snarled and growled, and slapped the cop’s gun out of his hands. According to police, he was laughing throughout the attack. Scoreboard: Three counts of attempted felony murder, two counts of depriving an officer of his weapon, two counts of resisting officers with violence, and trespassing. Seven felonies, one misdemeanor, up to life in jail. What a scene that must’ve been. Taking bullets in the chest, laughing and growling, bouncing cops off the walls, knocking guns out of their hands… it’s like the Terminator, but real.

What is it with these people? Are they thinking, ‘geez, here are the cops… if I can just beat these guys up, I won’t have to go to jail.’ That’s not how it works, sadly. Maybe you can beat up the cops. But you can’t beat their radios, you can’t stop their bullets, and you can’t defeat their backup. Sooner or later, the police are going to get what they want, and you’re going to go to jail.

And that’s it for tonight. We’ll be back again tomorrow, and since I’ve got the early shift at work I should be able to catch a few games as well. Or, the Mets and Phillies could just go into 16 innings again. I mean, they’re still playing, and I’m still watching. 8-8, top of the 16th… Chase Utley just got hit by a pitch while trying to bunt. Promise you will see the picture turn up somewhere soon. Utley was facing towards the mound, and when he saw the incoming, he jumped up on one leg, closed his eyes, went limp-wristed, and dropped the bat. Never seen a better fairy imitation in my life.