Barry Bonds, Canada over US, and... Rick Ankiel?

I had some formatting problems. Namely, all proper nouns received a return in front and behind them. This may have been a problem that resulted from the HTML in converting the post from a copied word document to the interface. Who knows, it's working for now. Anyway, our neighbors to the North are Canadia, we're the States, etc. For some reason, the formatting error does not apply to Barry Bonds' name, but it did care about Jason*Bay.

First off, I try to stay out of all the mainstream blogging topics, thinking that we have all heard enough of them. Such a belief would preclude me from talking about Barry Bonds, and Canadia over the States. I have some thoughts on both, however, plus a special piece. I'm sorry I haven't been posting lately, but tomorrow is the last day of classes before spring break. Then I'll have more than enough time to watch baseball and write. Besides, it still tires me to simply walk from bed to computer.

Barry Bonds 

I'm assuming everyone here has heard about the book. I have the SI article in front of me. Anyway, first off, is it true?

Apparently, the book is based on two years of research that includes hundreds of interviews, court documents and affidavits, and confidential memos from federal agents. The authors, Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, are investigative reporters - not a former MLB Player with a grudge named Jose Conseco. Besides... does the fact the Bonds has been pumped full of dope really come as a surprise? I will now precede, assuming that the allegations in Game of Shadows are true. Frankly, Bonds doesn't have a lot of credibility on the issue anyway.

Why did he do it? The authors allege that Bonds was jealous at the attention Mark McGwire was getting. "They're just letting him do it because he's a white boy," he said about McGwire's 1998 Home Run Race. According to Kimberly Bell, Bond's mistress - despite the fact that he had just gotten remarried - Bonds also claimed Sammy Sosa was destined to fail because, as a matter of policy, "they'll never let him win." Great. Is there any part of Barry-Land that this doesn't fit into? Recall his claim that there are no statues honoring Blacks, despite the fact that his own godfather, Willie Mays, is enshrined directly in front of his 'office,' which due to a formatting error I can’t actually name. But get this, that year, Bonds hit .303, 37 HR, and made the All-Star Team. It was the fact that no one seemed to notice that apparently pushed him into roiding up. In 1993, Bonds had signed what was then the largest contract to date. Ready for this? $43.75 million over six years. He was on the way to the Hall, his legacy was intact, and he had a solid reputation. So, it seems that McGwire just set Bonds off - he had to be better, because he believed he was better. Was he gonna hit the weights really hard in the off-season? Watch hours of tape before game time? Work on his swing? Play winter ball? Heck no. Bonds wasn't willing to put in the time to get ahead legitimately, and so he made the decision to pump himself full of drugs.

This is what matters. Had Bonds chosen to legally get ahead and smash The Babe's record, people would worship him just as they worshiped McGwire. We would've put up with his delusions of racism and persecution, because he would be the best player of all time. Then again, without roids, does Bonds ever hit more than 40HR in a season, regardless of how hard he works? Impossible to tell, but consider this. Much has been said of the Jim Thome's and Frank Thomas' who, as they near the twilight of their careers, begin to hit more and more HR per at bat. I once heard a possible explanation for this; perhaps, as their legs age, these players simply don't want to run out the double. This (unconsciously) translates into more HR, possible through the development of more of a "Home Run" Swing. In addition, experience makes it easier to sit on balls and rake the fastballs down the heart right out of the yard, as the hitter's 'eye' sharpens. So, maybe Bond's Home Run total continues to increase... but not double. Bonds doesn't come anywhere near his present total, but he does it legally and he stays in the Hall, legacy intact.

Lastly, what's Bond's defense to this? He's out of tricks. He can't parade his little kid around, he can't tell the media that they forced him to jump off the bridge, he can't play the race card, he can't say the IRS is after him, and he can't blame it all on the mistress. So, he says, "I won't even look at the book. There's no reason to."

Are you freaking kidding me? Put yourself in this situation. You're about to break Babe Ruth's Home Run Record, and someone just wrote a book saying that you're a cheater, an arrogant racist, and you don't care about a single thing besides the record. Are you gonna, A) Tell your PR man to take care of it, B) Defer all questions to your team, C) Call your lawyer, tell him to sue everybody involved, and talk to every single reporter you can and tell them that these allegations are false and defamatory, or D) Let it slide. I'm going with C. Bonds chose D. Either he is so tired of it that he just doesn't care - because he's guilty - or he's guilty. Not that anyone thought for half a second that Bonds isn't chock full of Roids, but look at the guy's comeback! I'm sick of Barry Bonds and his antics. This will probably be the last you hear of Bonds and his roids from me, but I will still make fun of what comes out of the dude's mouth from time to time.

Canadia over The States

If anyone hasn't read Mike Bauman's article yet, they should do it now. It's great. For example, "Much of the rest of American society underestimates Canad[i]a, viewing it as a vast, frequently frozen wilderness... Canad[i]a is a civilized, democratic nation."

I'm surprised the troops haven't crossed the border yet. If Canadia going over the  States at their own game isn't enough to start a skirmish, nothing is. What Bauman said is correct - Canadia isn't a real country anyway, so who cares? Take it over. I'm sick of their disrespect. Does anyone remember the Home Run Derby last year, when Jason*Bay represented Canadia? If I recall correctly, dude went 0 for 10. How does this happen?

Simple. I mean, this is what I think. Canadia has been getting ready for months now. The States have been in Spring Training, while the majority of the Canadian team has been on their own schedule. Actually, that's probably 10% of the problem. 90% of the problem is Dontrelle Willis and Al Leiter. I'm not sure if this bandwagon has formed yet, but I've never liked Willis. It's not because his knee is on a collision course with his chin every time he releases, although that does bother me. I just don't like his numbers, for some reason. He's that guy, and you all know what I mean.

Second, Al Leiter. I haven't liked this guy for two years. He's abusing the game. Dude is nearly 41 years old. He's been playing in the Majors almost as long as I've been alive. You're not Rickey Henderson, so stop stealing teams' money. Leiter's ERA in 2004, with the Mets: 3.21. Last year? 6.13. That's about double. So, if your contract runs out, you're 40 years old, you got taken apart last year on the mound - wearing two different uniforms, mind you! - it's time to hang up the cleats. I know it's a tough choice, but you gotta make it. Your career ERA is at 3.80 right now, and if you play it right you can keep it under 4. Back on topic, my point is this - Willis gave up 3 runs and then Leiter came in and lit the mound on fire. He gave up 2 more of Willis' runs, and then 2 more of his own. Canadia's up, 7-0. Thanks for nothing.

Rick Ankiel

Before I start, let me say that Rick and I share the same birthday, so it's really tough for me to talk bad about him. That being said, Ankiel used to tear it up on the mound. I've done a little research, and my reconstruction of his career goes a little something like this:

Struck out 19.7 batters /9IP in his Senior Year of High School. Attended UofMiami and was the "Best Pitching Prospect" in 1999, when he made his MLB Debut. In 2000, as a 20-year-old Rookie, he pitched 175 innings, struck out 194, and had an ERA of 3.50. Then the train broke down. He suffered control problems in the postseason and the following year, did his thing somewhere in the minors for a few years, and got a Tommy John on July 16th, 2003 - three days before our birthday. Had a .76 ERA in six rehab starts in August of 2004. Now, here's where it gets tricky. He makes three relief appearances for (The city with the big Arch – which due to formatting errors I am unable to name) in September of 2004, and everything is sunny. Then he goes to Coors, gives up five runs in 2.0IP, and basically decides to start playing Right Field instead. He said it was because, after 2004, he just couldn't nail down his pitches. As in, he went 3 for 23 in batting practice during 2005 Spring Training. Thats a strikes out of total attempts ratio. So, instead of starting a Spring Training game, he went into La Russa's office and told him he'd had enough of pitching. GM Walt Jocketty said, at the time, that he was "disappointed." Well, yeah. Your future Cy Young award winner just stepped off the rubber for good.

So, where does this leave us? Ankiel had 21 HR in 324 Minor League at bats last year, which is nuts. Apparently the dude is making real progress, and the Card's "would hate to lose him." I find this hilarious, I really do. Guy comes up to the Majors in 2000 and has an insane year. Cards wouldn't have wont the NL Central that year without him, (La Russa's words, not mine.) Imagine if he shows up six, seven years later and starts burning through as an Outfielder... wouldn't that be insane?

Finally... 

I have no idea if Rocket will be back this year, which is pretty wild. He knows, but he's not telling anyone. Maybe after Son of Rocket took him deep, he decided he was off his game; then again, his last season was as close to inhuman as it gets. If he doesn't come back, it's because he want's to spend more time with the family, not because he's old and washed up. Or maybe it's because he wants to go out on top. In any case, if Roger retires and Leiter doesn't, something is wrong.

Thanks for reading. Make comments so I know you're all still there. I'll start covering more in-depth baseball issues throughout the next week, when I'm done with school.